Resident Evil

(for Devansh, my kid bro)

Its just a damn almirah. Its not even cursed, its end of the day now, I have had a fucked up day , which is not rare thing to happen , coz am just 17 and the whole world seems to be plotting against me all the time. 

But still it was just a holiday, and the least you expect is from a termite ridden, antique stuffed, god forsaken almirah...

So morning happened, the almirah had to be repaired, seriously how much big deal it is really to take the books etc out and keep it back? The mender guy is supposed to come and fix it then. Where is the crazy part in this? Sounds like a perfect weekend chore to me. But then, all the nonsense. The utter urgency of making everything so big and complicated and task and issue and what not. Didn't someone tell them that there can be more than one right way to get the books out right. OMG! its just books!!

Anyway, I had had just enough quota of  baseless morning growling, i decided to get to a friend's place...you see I have to device such cooling down techniques , because I am not allowed to shout back or even react to the craziness of it all!!!

But wait, the shouting doesn't stop haunting me, even if I cross the perimeter of my house. And didn't I just mention, am in "the 12th standard" also. Bite me!! So how can i possibly perceive the idea that I'l be allowed to visit my friend's place and get to watch the movie on the very same date!! Here comes the phone call with some more bashing. Another fun fact. I had plans to watch Resident Evil 5 on that very blissed day. 

Anyhow, i left my friend's place and took the metro to watch the movie as planned. Mr. Murphy in all his glory, decided to tag along. One thing i don't understand, what is it about making plans with friends that you always mess up your metro stations?? Why  does it become so confusing, where to get down, which friend will join from which station, why all the halla ballo?? Anyways, I got down at the wrong station, doubled back, god help me, took a detour even at the metro station coz of some closed gate....reached Satyam cineplex finally.

The evil follows.

"Wait you can not go inside. You are carrying a hard disk". What really! Okay take it, let me go. But the curse will not let me  get to the movie on time. 4 gaurds against me, and none of them had the sense to keep it with them. They can carry apples and chocolates and water bottles but not a hard disk! Why thou evil ! why!!?? Anyway i had the special, "I will fix it" friend. He talked to him , the hard disk was settled and the dearie handed me my ticket.

Wth!! I already had  bought my ticket!! What!! I had already bought two for us, while I was waiting!! FYI, it was worth 200. God help me now.

We finally made it to the hall, watched the last 30 minutes of Resident Evil @twice the rate.

Am home now. Accused of loafing the whole day without studying. What more am all grumpy, and am accused of typical teenage broody behavior. Who the hell invented this theory! The almirah is still not fixed and my room is a mess.

No i did not miss the movie. The resident evil is right here.

Just a thought

Just a thought…

(the following was written during my second week at IIMA, for entry into the prestigious Media club.
Now when I read it again, after spending 3 months here, and just one month before placements,
I am pleasantly surprised by the over optimistic tone of it all. Probably the reason it was rejected.
Its surprising how the mental state has shifted within this time span; instead of being more aware,
I find myself all the more narrow minded, targeting "consults" and what not, and forgetting, what I 
actually used to think and believe before coming here. Read on.)

I always thought I needed an eight hour sleep. I thought I could not and would not do without it.

I always knew there were super achievers out there, people with a sense of purpose, the work
hard- party harder lot – I thought I never bothered to be one of them.

I thought MBA was just a rat race. I thought IIM A was just another branded college.

One WAC, Two quizzes, Three weeks, dozen interactions and innumerable deadlines forward I
feel different…well I also feel tired but, but most importantly I feel capable.

For the ones who have lived in hostels before, they will realize that there is something about
the hospitality of the dorms with that fridge and that oven; the luxury of these rooms with that
white board and intercom facility; something has come around, it says you are no more just a
bachelor degree holder now, you deserve better things, once here…you are someone important
now, someone capable.

The place disregards all. With the tucchas gymming and playing tennis at 12 am, lecture halls
being used for ppts at 3 am in night, fucchas flocking CT for group assignments at 4 am, there is
an utter disregard for the sense of time. Then there is utter disregard for dressing congruously.
In the place where one would expect a batch of 400 students crisply dressed in formals
attending lectures, one finds shorts and tracks and beige capris. But then the realization comes
that the disregard is only for the things which are trivial. If you have work to do, the ticking of
clock has got nothing to do with it; the guy attending class in those ragged shorts is perhaps- as
far as the definition of student goes- the most ideal student, the next big CEO. The place gives
you an option to have a completely new view of what is trivial and what is important.

There is no room for procrastination, the place is alive 24 hours, and it demands the same from
you. Doesn’t matter in what heights or depths of self-esteem you hold yourself, this place does
bring out the best in you; it makes you capable and it makes you feel it. It tells you every day
that you are -as the campus tee-shirt rightly puts it - not just another brick in the wall.

Yes it’s a rat race, but it’s not just a rat race. It’s as much about Frisbee @LKP and Ram bhai’s
chaai as it is about placements. And if you cannot find the balance now, perhaps you never will;
all IIM A does is, it gives you a chance every single day. A chance to choose, to prioritize, to
learn.

You decide Phoebes.

“But time…how time first grounds us and then confounds us. We thought we were being mature when we were only being safe. We imagined we were being responsible but were only being cowardly. What we called realism turned out to be a way of avoiding things rather than facing them. Time…give us enough time and our best-supported decisions will seem wobbly, our certainties whimsical.” – The sense of an ending.

Sounds correct, feels logical, what do I know, might as well be true. So if time has such ways of creating illusions and be the bitch in our lives, what really should decide the right and the wrong of a decision because whatever you decide, time will play its card just at the wrong time.

One of my friends had said, “No decision is wrong”

How lovely would it be to agree and adhere to this thought!

How liberating…from relations, the concept of career and materialism (or luxury as I laud it).

Even a layman has the sense to say, chuck it if you don’t like it…but what do I know about what I really like or not. I mean spend enough time; habit gives way to tolerance, acceptance, then dependence and then…then time out. There…you have completed your exile in your safety zone.

The demarcation between courage and idiocy; maintaining a positive attitude and being a perpetual idiot; working on a relation and being dragged by it; your dreams and those shown by the others; love and sex; is nothing but a cruel joke played by time. You think you are on your preferred side of that line….only time would tell where you stood.

Times like these the only safe thing to do is to perhaps find comfort with a novel in a café…